I'll Find You...

I grow tired…
of waiting, pondering before sleeping.
Long sleepless nights while floating,
wide awake still day-dreaming.

Rain drops dripping,
It is you that I am longing.
Not knowing excites me,
thoughts of you delight me.
False hope invites me,
pretty soon it will come and bite me.

Waiting in vain,
while listening to the rain.
Half-smile masks the pain.
I think I am going Insane.

When the rain stops,
I’ll make my move.
I swear my dear, I’ll look for you.
Although weary and wounded
I won’t stop.
I’ll never give up, not until,
I draw my very last breath
or when my heart ceases to stop.

Together let’s put an end to these
empty nights.
and please don’t hesitate
to turn off the lights.
Let's dive into our blankets,
and enjoy the company of night.
Although we are under the cover of darkness,
I swear I'll never let go and
will forever be by your side.
You are my savior from insomnia.
Because of you, my lady,
finally,I can now sleep tight.

:)

Splendid Sundays! :)

Out of the negativity and the tiredness experienced in the past weeks, then comes a day where everything is splendid and happiness is given.This Sunday, it came in the form of rain, boodle fight, table tennis and of course the company of great friends.

I finally had an awesome sleep. How do you define an awesome sleep? For me, it's more than four hours lol. I woke up feeling rejuvenated though, and without the thought of Monday in my head and the hell that comes with it in the form of homework and there deadlines.

Lunch time came, and things got better. Boodle Fight! For those unfamiliar with this term, it is basically a form of eating, where Banana leaves are laid down as extended plates, then dishes are arranged to accommodate the people eating and lastly you eat with your bare hands. In other words it's like a survivor food frenzy. This kind of eating is basically done outdoors, in rural areas and in military setting. So even with bystanders looking around and questioning what we were doing, we just ate and had no care in the world. I mean why not bring it to the city and just enjoy the feast.

Then came my most favorite thing in the world, Rain. So what did we decide to do? As master of the elements, we decided to have a table tennis tournament despite the heavy rainfall and the relentless wind. I did okay but I only lasted up until the second round because the rain had seized I know longer had my special powers which are only present to me when it is raining LOL.

All is fine again, on the other hand I have chemistry homework due and that bastard Monday is fast approaching. Getting ready for another hell week, but I look forward to seeing you again my sweet sweet Sunday! :)

Boodle Fight: Lots and Lots of Rice, Scrambled Eggs, Pork Chops, Barbecued Chicken and Sardines.

Preparation:


Final product before digging in:

Tiredness...

Put your feelings into literature, a very good advice from a lovely friend...

I am a slave of tiredness, and tiredness has gotten me by the throat. I have been drifting like a zombie and my mind remains afloat. In the emptiness of the night, I wake, from nightmares with cold sweat dripping down my face.

Reality sinks in, I am really back at school. there goes the good days, smiles, getting familiar with pretty faces, new acquaintances and some of them I admit really brightens my day.

Then comes the complicated, unnecessary things needed for school, reliance, teamwork, faults thrown back and forth, alas tiredness claims me.

I wear eye glasses, but my visions are still clouded. Someone help me see the beauty that will come out from all of this. Cause right now I am too tired to give a shit or care, but I try my best to hold it all in together for the sake of sanity and the love of friends.

No offense intended, only honest opinions. Thus writing has helped me relax and find conclusions. With lovely literature I find solace and silence in these endless waves of mutilations.

I am a slave of tiredness for now, but pretty soon I will be free. This week has been hell and there is too much load that I alone cannot carry.

I am thankful that I have friends who are there too help me, catches me when I fall and are true and wont desert me. The value of living is not by the money you make,the car you drive or the loft that you live in. Instead it's the friends that hold you, the ones who are always there for you, in the harshest of times, through the thickest of thin.

I bow down before you, and even with tired and trembling hands, I salute you.

Hidden

My love for you is hidden,
as long as your smile remains exposed.
When will I see you again?
On the weekdays I suppose.

I long to be close to you,
I have thoughts of having you near.
Thus, I decided to remain hidden,
I’ll just wait until the rain clouds clear
and pretty soon, like rain drops,
my true feelings will appear.

Hopefully this feeling won’t fade and
I won’t allow it to just simply disappear.
Memories are enough for now
and I can’t wait for sleep.
Cause in my dreams, for sure
I’ll get to see you again my dear.

Hidden I will be.
Invisible, under the cover of company,
Unexposed, just like the Holy Ghost,
praying silently,waiting patiently.

Soon enough my cover will be blown
and only time will reveal,
that my love and desire for you is
more than just a big deal.

Not an absurd joke,
and absolutely not just for thrills,
It’s actually wonderful, beautiful
and definitely real.
That’s the reason im drawn to you,
You are not whimsical,
You are true and real.

Sleep II

The thought of you beside me,
The thought of having you near,
The thought of us talking about love and poetry,
instead of me sitting alone drinking this beer.

Lying wide awake on this empty bed.
Ipod on repeat , not shuffle playing;
“High and Dry” by the band Radiohead.
Counting sheep just leaves me weak,
I wish you somehow knew that I miss you
and that you are still the one that I seek.

So, this bed ridden insomniac has risen.
and for you is this poem that I’ve written.

There are no stars that are twinkling,
and my eyes are tired and blinking.
There is no sign of the moon.
I wonder where had she gone and
why did she have to leave so soon.

Pillowed dark rain clouds paired
with a melancholy sky, just adds
to my gloomy mood and it even
feels like I’ve pulled a tooth.

I feel dead tired and I could use some slumber.
Those sleepless nights really did their number.
Insomnia how I wish that you were my lady
and that you will be the one to tuck me into bed.

So tonight, I’ll just ride it out, till
the lovely sleep calls me to her bed.
For now I’ll just stare at the heavens
and pretend that there’s a full moon
watching over me wishing me to finally
rest my head, have the sweetest dreams
and have that lovely sleep that I so long for instead.

In the After

In the after, there is no guarantee that there would be no pain and only laughter.
Children laughing and trees swaying that’s the life that we are all after.

I look at the world today with doubt and sorrow, an upcoming disaster.
War and greed, is this what the people really need?

Pain and suffering goes hand in hand. So why are you letting go of my hand?
Is this how the future will surely stand?
Second hand smoke killers and castle made out of sands.

I am a king without a crown and all I have is this frown.
The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting absurdly poorer.

What must we do to encourage? When we know for a fact that these
So called hypocrites are corrupted and have no courage?

Will a child always have a shelter and a playground that he or she seeks?
Or is the corrupt going to triumph again and leave us all meek?

For once let us rise and make a stand, before the flood and war bury us all in sand.
Plant a tree, read a book, teach a child which way to look.
Only forward and learn from the sins of the past.
Take care of Mother Nature and don’t let her pass.
Let education be the foundation and the building blocks.
So that in the after we all have something to look forward too,
instead of a pile of rubble and a bunch of rocks.

(Dedicated to Tina, my big sister. Who I adore now, and even in the after)
I share your vision. :)

Drunk Driving

Drinking and driving tonight.
Why am I in such a hurry?
Alcohol mixed with pain is
making my vision double and blurry.

Heart is pounding, im going crazy.
Chest is heavy, brain ain’t steady.

Speed limit says 40,
but im breaking 80.
Seatbelt unbuckled, although it
feels like my hands are shackled.

Racing to you, hoping
that you’ll take me,
back to where we once was.
Driving calm and steady,
with you beside me.

Admiring the rays of the sun,
as it touches and caresses your face.
Way back to those days when you
were always feisty and ready, to
pounce at me with your hugs and your kisses.

I remember your sunny smile
as the summer breeze gracefully
sways your long dark hair. Even
though my head is ringing right
now to what sounds like a thousand bells.

Clearly not sober, but I do remember,
the look, that you gave me saying:
“I will always be here on your passenger seat my baby”

Next thing I knew, heard
an awful bang and a crash.
Glasses were flying,
metals are bending,
it just all happened too fast.

Head is busted, feels like I’m still wasted.
Eyes are swollen and ribs are broken.
Now lying in this hospital bed, with
blood shot eyes and a bandaged head.

Know someday I’ll heal, but I wish I was dead.
That thought is pretty grim, however the reality
of not being with you is guaranteed death.
Rather me as a ghost and watch over you instead,
than be alone forever, without you in my bed.

(A Series of Unfortunate Events...)

Liligaya

Dahil wala kana, wala ng saysay
humiga dito sa aking kama.
Dahil wala kana hindi na malasa
ang kape at pandesal sa umaga.

Dahil wala kana, kahit comedy ang
palabas, wala na kong ganang tumawa.
Dahil wala kana, wala na sa tono ang
aking mga kanta at pagigitara.

Dahil wala kana, mas mahaba na ang mga
gabi at kay bagal na ng pagsapit ng umaga.
Dahil wala kana, naglaho na ang kulay ng
mundo ko at nawalan na ko ng pagasa.

Pagkalipas ng ilang araw, buwan at taon,
pinilit na bumangon at sinubukang tumawa.
Sinubukang maghanap ng iba, pero ikaw
padin ang hinahanap at nakikita.

Pinilit na limutin ka at ibaon ang iyong
mga alaala. Hindi malaman kung bakit
naglaho kanalang at nawala kagaya ni
Francis M. at Ely Buendia.

Ngayong tambay nalang at nagtatanong
sa Diyos kung kelan ulit liligaya.
Maria Clara sana mahanap kana ng
puso kong uhaw at nagdurusa.

Ngayon nagbibilang nalang ng araw
na may dumating na bago na
magpapahalaga. Nagaantay nalang
ng ulan kagaya ng Rivermaya.

Pagdating mo, pangako ko sayong
mamahalin ka kagaya ng pagmamamahal
ni Florante kay Laura. Pangako sayo na ang
pag ibig natin ay mas matindi pa kay Angelo
at Ina.

Prinsesa pwede bilisan mo na?
Kasi pag hindi ka dumating, iiputan na ko
ng ibong Adarna. Kaya kung pwede sagipin
mo na ko katulad ni Darna.

Ayokong maging bato, gusto ko pang
kumain ng fishball, maligo sa ulan,
makinig sa Eraserheads, at katulad
ng kanta nila Lumigaya.

(tula para sa mga tropa, insan at mga alaala. Rock En Roll)

You were there.

Last Night,
I actually pretended that you were there.
Sitting and smiling across from me from that empty chair.
I made your favorite dinner, even lined up the spoons the forks and plates.
Candle light lit and fresh roses, while holding a smile that’s absurdly fake.

I actually miss your stare and
how you run your fingers slowly through your hair.
I got hungry but I didn’t crave for food.
Instead I wanted to taste your skin,
your soft lips and the feeling of lust
just from the slightest touch of your finger tips.

Then I leaned over waiting for a kiss,
waiting for your lips to touch mine,
standing by for sparks to fly.

Sadly all I get is a kiss back from the wind
and the feeling of nothingness.
I felt numb and at the same time sick
I wanted to throw up, I wanted to drown.

Surrounded by silence, like raindrops I can hear
the tears dripping as they touch my plate.
I didn’t eat dinner,
I didn’t touch my food,
I didn’t feel hungry anymore,
because my heart and soul wont cooperate.

I stood up silently and wiped my tears.
took a few steps forward and reached for the sink.
Turned the faucet slowly and waited a few seconds
As I feel the warm become cold.

Next thing I knew, I felt pain.
The coldness of the water and how it burned my skin
Not used to the feeling na wala kana at hindi kana sakin.

(Dedicated to the peeps who have been through hell and are trying to make their way back, just a few more steps and your already there)

Guitar

You remind me of my guitar.
When I saw and heard you I knew that I wanted you.
The smoothness of the wooden sound board reminded me of your skin.
The shape and the curve of your body, gave me goose bumps from within.
Your strings and the sound it makes when it is plucked or strummed
got my attention like how a moth is attracted to flame.

When you were in my arms no moment felt lame.
The chords, the rhythm, and the songs it all sounded neat.
It felt good when your body was next to mine.
You sitting on my lap, while my arms were wrapped all around you.
My left hand grazing your neck while my right feeling your body.
The movements of my fingers were all so fluent and accurate.
My hand developed a mind of its own and it knew
where to touch you in all the right places which made you sound great.
Everything was in harmony but then came the bitter.

The longer I strummed you the older and looser you got.
Your pegs developed rust and your body and insides collected dust.
Your hard strings made my fingers ache and I developed calluses.
You didn’t sound so good and that didn’t go all too well with my mood.
I got sick of you so I took out your case, opened my cabinet and put you
in your place. I just needed time away from you.

Then I turned on the radio, alas it was all 90’s music which reminded me of you.
How’s it gonna be when you don’t know me, Sweet you rock and sweet you roll.
I only wanna be with you, I wish you were here and that you really are my wonderwall.
I realized that everybody hurts and that I want you bad.
So I decided to take you out of your heart shaped box and caress you down.

I know you all too well, so restringing you was easy.
I wiped the dust of your body which revealed scratches
that had developed over time, not because of you but because of me.
It made me realize, that everything wasn’t entirely your fault
but it had a lot to do with me too.
How I didn’t take care of you as evident from the dust and the scratches.
How I didn’t let anyone get near you because I wanted you all for myself.
I was selfish and I admit it.

New strings and no dust.
Everything was mended, everything was fixed and all was forgiven.
Except for the scratches on your body, and my callused fingers.
These things serve a purpose though. They are ugly markers
of our troubled past and how we have over come and got past them.

Out of ugly comes beauty.
Your scratches defines how you aged with grace,
like how time makes better wine.
The calluses on my fingers also made me stronger.
I no longer hurt and I can play longer and better.
Win, win for both of us.
Guitar, I know that you don’t speak,
But by your body language and the fluent movement of your strings,
I hope that you have also forgiven me.
Now we are both free of hate, let us strum away into the night.




(Music References on Verse 4)
1. How’s it gonna be – Third Eye Blind
2. (sweet you rock, and sweet you roll ) Crash into me – Dave Matthews Band
3. Only wanna be with you – Hootie and the Blowfish
4. Wish you were here – Incubus
5. Wonderwall – Oasis
6. Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.
7. I want you bad- the Offspring
8. Heart Shaped Box – Nirvana
9. Caress me down - Sublime

Finally awake, prepare for random poems.
-Conrad.

You

I’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
Been through hell and back and God is the only one who knows.

Now I am feeling very lucky that depression is subsiding and that
the pain clouds are clearing. Even with these love scars, I am
thankful to have survived what felt like a fatal shark attack.

Believe it or not,
It is you who got me smiling again, you who got me writing.
You who got me feeling, that true love might just be hiding
and that all it takes is time, a whole lot of patience and waiting.

They say, good things come to those who wait.
So I ask you, have you been good and waiting?
Cause you have definitely lured my heart with your
lovely eyes and your witty poetry as bait.

You, put the good back in my mornings.
You, put the lovely back in my nights.
You, put the sweetness back in my dreams.
You, are the main reason why I hug my pillow tight.

I don’t see you that often,
But somehow you are all that I’ve spoken.
You are the subject of my dreams.
You are the body of my poems.
You are the one that I desire.

You are the most probable reason,
on why my heart is beating faster.
Now vulnerable and open,
Like an arcade machine labeled
“Insert coin here” and I believe that
You have the token.

Even if it takes 50 first dates,
I would wait for you and do whatever it takes.
So you, please just sit there and hold on tight.
For now let’s enjoy our dinner and the company of the night.
For maybe one day, I will always be by your side.
With the feeling of never wanting to leave,
holding your hand, and at the same time happy
and contented while waiting for the morning light.

:)

Wanted: Juliet

A book is useless without a reader,
It only serves as mere paper weight.
Same goes for the heart,
Each beat has no meaning without Love.

As the words in this poem are ill fated,
without my target Juliet reading it.
At least it will be published and like a
wanted ad she might notice my words
and read it.

Life has been full of misfortunes for this
make believe Romeo.
Chapter by chapter, page by page is a story
of love lost, pain and heartbreak.

Maybe Cupid has lost his touch?
Or maybe it’s the other way around.
Cause every arrow that pierces me and breaks
Only makes me wiser and stronger with experience.
For this Romeo is a fool and knows that
learning from past mistakes, ain’t that easy
as baking a chicken pot pie or a chocolate cake.

Looking for a reader who can change this
wickedly awful depressing love streak.
One that has patience one that has brains.
One who is sweet,one who won’t drive me insane.
Not one who is like a zombie and will go for my brains.

If you are the subject of every word that I speak.
Read thy poem, just smile, there is no need to speak.

Does this Juliet exist?
Maybe she’s a poet and in turn will write about me too,
or maybe she’s a musician who can sing and strum away
my bad mood and the blues.
Maybe she’s a painter, who posses colorful pastels
or maybe a ballerina who will dance with me and make me
feel like I am floating on air.

Truth is, this hopeless romantic has given up on true love,
Love that is make believe and is only seen on movies
and on your T.V. screens.

Just looking for a Juliet who like him loves cookies and cream,
dinner and a movie, and coffee while staring at the moon beams.
A reader of books, a dreamer of dreams.
Part wild, part crazy, part cool, part lazy.

Juliet if you're out there, I am waiting.. :)

Night

The night is still young,
but I’m getting old.
As lovers pass by
and stories unfold.

The moon is half full,
but my glass is half empty.
Can’t get to bed,
cause thoughts of you eludes me.

As the cold wind blows,
my lonesomeness grows.
Wishing that you were in this empty bed,
expecting traces of your silhouette.

Sleep hasn’t claimed me,
my lady, oh if you could,please come and save me.
So for now I shall hug my pillow tight,
with only the lovely thoughts of you as my company,
bidding me to have a good and lovely night.
(dedicated for those people who could use some sleep :D)

Mom

Beauty and grace is always paired with your warm embrace.
You’ve been there through thick and thin.
Your patience never seem to falter,
even though we know that sometimes,
we kids are the cause of your demise and disaster.

Weak, Stubborn and Stupid is what I was before.
But with your guidance through perseverance and love,
I will be Strong, Steadfast, Smarter and more.

There is no amount of love greater than a child and his parents.
Through sickness and in health, you’ve been there for all of us.
No complaints, giving it all in exchange for nothing,
just for us to have a brighter shot at the future.

“Love Ya mom”, that is all I can say for now.
I know that with your mother’s intuition, you can feel that somehow.
We can never repay you so this somewhat poem has to suffice for now.
For one day I promise to make you proud and in your sweet voice, you’ll
Say something like this out loud:
“Not even for a single moment have I considered you kids as either demise
or disaster. If anything and I mean anything, you kids are the number one
source of my happiness and laughter!”
---------------------------------------------------------------
“When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom let it be.”

Reminds me of my mom, You Rock MoM!

Rain

Rain

The saying goes that when there are no stars in the night sky
that it's going to rain.
I haven't seen any stars, I guess I am just stuck here,
waiting in vain.

Waiting for drops from the heavenly sky.
Should I sit here idle or should I walk on by.

Waiting for rain drops, is like waiting for her kiss.
I can picture it in my dreams, but in reality it's
clouded just like the morning mist.

Patiently waiting for the first sign of rain fall,
my mind is literally spinning, waiting for her to fall.

As the drops of rain kisses the earth and the leaves,
you can see them dancing with bitter sweet release.

While the rain drops embrace me and my pain subsides,
I still have thoughts of her calling me, waiting and waving
signalling for me to come to her side.

Like a fool, I just stood there drenched in this lovely rain.
Maybe someday she'll be holding an umbrella and
will come forth calling my name.

Rain, Rain don't go away
please tell me that you're here to stay.





libo libong alaala, dala ng ambon ;)

Drinking the Night Away...

So...
after the fiesta celebration, well its a very common Filipino tradition to drink with your buddies. I got to admit, im not a fan of drinking, im a classified social drinker. But with the mixture of great friends, crazy stories and endless laughter it's a good thing to drink the night away and savor the good times, the past, present and the new.

I don't get so stupidly drunk that I can't walk home or remember anything in the morning, to me that's a lot of dead brain cells right there. I just enjoy the aspect of talking, seeing old and new friends passing by and asking them if they want to join in or a least have a glass of cold beer or as we call it over here "shot". Also the drinking part is really represents the warmth and the hospitality of us Filipinos. It's a combination of camaraderie amongst friends and family,and the wholeness aspect of a community. I also consider it as a form of freedom, sort of like speak easy's in the olden days, in which everyone has a voice or a say, whether it's about shitty politics, relationship problems, love or anything out of the ordinary, you know that your, drunk buddy is just beside you listening waiting for his turn to share.

Cheers Peeps
(and no im not drunk while writing this)
-Con

Giving Back!

Tambay: by Philippine definition, it's a term most commonly used for hanging out with your friends. Also it has its negative attachments, in society's judgemental eye, a "tambay's" definition is an individual who has no job. just sits around all day, drinking, smoking, free loading, good for nothing person. Well in my case, me and my buddies could be labeled as "tambay's" but most of the negative tags don't apply to us.

Exhibit A:
May,2 2010. Barangay Pitogo's Fiesta

We tambay's or as they use to call our group in our area "The Palku's", planned and organized an event to give back to the community. Our main focus was to host party games for the kids in our community and it all turned out well. I was quite surprised at how quick the whole thing was planned and put together, well... its kind of a no brainer since a bunch of us really gave their best efforts to make sure that everything goes according to plan. We each assigned individual groups for games, feeding program and alas my favorite the clean and green campaign (go environmental club).

First of to show their appreciation, the kids did a few dance numbers for us, which was really hilarious and fun at the same time. The kids were going crazy, dancing to the beat of lady gaga and some other pop songs. Their dance number also helped because it attracted and drew more and more kids to come join the fiasco.

Next, came the games...

(To the peeps abroad I will try to explain these games as best as I can for you to understand some Filipino Culture :D)

1.Pukpok Palayok: (Pukpok: to hit something/ Palayok: a pot used for cooking) lol, and yes that's the objective, the only twist is that you're blindfolded, easy right? Not... the first pot, none of the kids hit the pot dead on, so one of my buddies had to do it for them, but on the second pot, came sweet success. Oh for laughter purposes even though the pot is filled with coins and candy we also added baby powder. :)


2.Sack Race: Event number two was the typical sack race, the only twist was that it was girls vs. boys, and yep the race was very entertaing and competitive, a few kids fell on their butts, but the thought of winning candy and cash fueled their drive to win.


3. GawGaw Piso: forgive me I just invented the game title since I forgot what the game is called lol (Gawgaw: a powder like substance which I think is used for making glue/ Piso: referring to the filipino coin) First a one peso coin is placed in a medium cup, then the cup is filled with gawgaw. The objective is that you have to blow all the gawgaw off and if you manage to reveal the coin then we have a winner! the only drawback is the gawgaw literally sticks on your face so you end up looking like a crazy mime after. This was the event that drew the most laughter, all the kids were cheering for their buddies and at the same time laughing at their unrecognisable faces.

I know that we only had a few games but all the kids were satisfied and the smiles on their gawgaw filled faces were priceless.


Feeding Program:


Since it's our neighborhoods Fiesta, we decided to serve "Lomi", it's a type of noodle soup which is very thick, yet filling and delicious, (sadly, they don't have this kind of Dish in California, so that's a Nay for noodle lovers) We decided to serve it old school style, we cooked it in a huge pot outside the streets and we used random firewood for our burner which I thought was pretty cool. With their share of bread and a cold glass of ice tea, all the kids had their stomachs filled and all in all it was a success.

So yep, I admit it we are a bunch of Tambay's, I belong to a group of people who loves to hang out, enjoy each others company, tell endless stories of life and the awesome experiences that comes with it, but hey we definitely broke the mold, proving that we are not just good for nothing individuals who are freeloaders. Instead we appreciate the value of community, and that giving back even though it's only for the benefit of the kids is enough just for now. Kudos to all the Tambay's!

Sleep

Sleep

Oh how I miss you so
Body half covered with a soft blanket.
Eyes half opened, can't seem to force it close.

Twisting and turning, I never seem to fall
First thinking about nothing,
Now thinking about it all.

Sweet slumber embrace me, so that I can retire
or maybe Its just the thought of the one that I desire
through the night she lingers, dancing in my head
thoughts of her befall me sleeping in my bed.

Should I get up and walk in the empty night
or should I just lay here, with my lady in sight
Insomnia you have triumphed and won again
For my eyes are closed now, but my mind is still bent.

Moon

You were right after all. You are not the sun instead you are the moon.
Beautiful to look at but shrouded and still covered with mysteries.
Yet I am only human and forgive me if I fell too fast, but is it my fault?

Together with insomnia, you are my only companion on cold nights.
Your light illuminates the beauty of the unseen which intrigues me to look at you more and more
You not only pull the tides, you also pulled my heart with your insightful moonlit glow.

I should have followed the very first astronaut, I don't believe that it was gravity that caused those slow motion steps, instead I believe that it was his soul acting on its own accord, taking baby steps, careful not to step on the privacy of your soul, slowly but surely discovering and taking his time while basking in your glow and at the same time still unsure about the mysteries that surrounds him, taking short breaths slowly and letting it all set in piece by piece.

I apologize, now like the astronaut but without the zooming rocket ship. I am handicapped with only a telescope in hand. I realized that a telescope is enough for now, I will wait every night and take my time to discover the secrets that you keep. In time I will slowly put together a rocket ship so that one day I can fly, and hopefully if you let me, share a walk with you, hand in hand staring at the heavens.

(couldn't sleep so I'll put my thoughts into writing, this is for the girl who reminded me to just breath :D thank you)

Stillness

Stillness, the quiet or the calm whatever you want to call it, I am a fan of that.
After the noises and troubles that have burdened my life, I found a steady ground.
It's not meditation, but a state of comfort were everything slows down.
You can actually hear the wind singing and see the leaves dancing when you remain still.

Still, you caught me by surprise, my nirvana mode shattered upon meeting your delicate eyes.
I was caught off guard by your wit and your beauty and I didn't know that the shattering busy could be so pretty.
On the outside, I was still as a swan swimming in a serene lake, staring at you like you're a beautiful sunset on a warm summer day.
But on the inside was different, everything was turning. It may seem like I am a still swan, but my feet are actually shaking trying to keep calm as they keep on churning.

My stillness was shattered and replaced by busy.
Still: would you rather have a dusty guitar which only serves as an ornament?
or
Busy: rather have someone playing and strumming it and the enjoyment of beautiful notes that comes from the fluent and graceful movement of the slightest touch of the strings.

I think I would rather have Busy...

but still, my stillness will always be intact, for one day you may also learn to see the beauty in quiet.
when your world gets too busy, hectic and crazy, the calm will be there for you to slow everything down, bring you at peace and make sure that no trouble or hurt can come to you if you just remain still.



(First time writing something like this, dedicated to the lady who actually read my blog)
=)

High School Rocks!

what a weekend...

Partied last night with my closest and best high school buddies. Had the time of my life! Although we knew we all grew, our bond never changed and all the crazy High School stories and things are still very fresh in our minds like it just happened yesterday.

Good food, cold beer, funny stories and great company, what more could you ask for in life? These are literally the peeps that made me, me. They were all a big factor in my adolescent life and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Our group was called "troping tokis" tropa meaning group of friends and tokis meaning talk-shit.. LOL, we plan to erase the tokis part in turn we promise to spend more time with each other travelling, sight seeing and just hanging out.

Even though most of us have jobs and our busy with whatever we have in our lives, I am still very proud and giddy that despite that, we still find time to catch up and bond with each other even if it only happens once in a blue moon. If that ain't friendship, I dont know what is =)

Sea Food!

BIG BIG FAN of Sea Food!

During the weekends, me my cousin Kuya Raymund, ate Ganda and Bj dined in Dampa. For those of you who do not know what this so called Dampa is, it's basically a restaurant which includes a wet/fresh market on the side. First order of business is that you browse the market for the food that you want to eat, crabs, squids and shrimps is mainly the food of choice. Both my cousin Raymund and his fiancé Theresa are very good at bargaining with the market vendors, so they are usually in charge on what to get, and almost all the time they get the cheapest prices but the best food for our moola.

After they've finished picking out our food of choice, we just sit and wait until our food is good to go and almost every time the food is very well done and when you are eating you feel like the king of the world and when you're finished you can hardly breath or stand up.

My top 3 food choices to eat in Dampa, in which I would recommend to everyone would be:

1. Calamares

2. Buttered Shrimp

3. Baked Oysters

Now that's what I call good eating! =)


p.s. I was in Awe and my jaws literally dropped when I heard the ensemble playing inside the restaurant. Of course my senses heavily favored them because of their classical instruments. They are very good and I labeled them as the Filipino Beatles.Their ensemble played while we were eating and I requested that they plated Beatles songs lol, they performed the song "Till There Was You". After hearing them I literally was smiling during the whole meal, that's how good they were.

M27

Woot!
spent some time with some of my M27 cousins, just chillaxing, sharing stories, and lastly comparing and contrasting on how old we are lol. I remember the days when we use to have snot on our noses, playing with legos and what ever toys that we have, playing bahay-bahayan, those were indeed good times.

Now time seems to fly. Our topics move from toys to marriage, family, career, love and all that's in between. Even with problems, our transitions in life are very smooth because of the love, care and support that we get from each other. I miss my cousins in the USA and Canada, can't wait till December to see most of them =)I love my cousins like they are my brothers and sisters, all 27 of them and I would not trade them for anything in the world.

Street and Exotic Foods =)

Yum!

Having been away from home for the last 2 years, I have been craving badly for some of the most delicious street foods that I've missed. So every afternoon I wait outside for street vendors to sell me their best stuff. Alas to my dismay, days have passed and I haven't seen a street vendor that possess my foods of craving. Except for the occasional Halo-Halo and our so called dirty ice cream (it's not really dirty lol). Fishball and Kwek Kwek can't be found insight but I must have them =)

So, with frustration building up inside me, I had to take it to the next level and scout the food courts of the local mall in my area. Went to Market Market and to my dissapoinment, the stands outside did not possess this local delicacies. With hunger looming in my stomach, I asked another street vendor if she knows a place where these magical foods can be found, luckily she pointed out that these kinds of food can be obtained in the lower levels of the mall. With a smile on my face, I raced through the mentioned area and ordered the street foods that I have been longing for.

For those of you back at the U S of A and are unfamiliar with these kind of stuff I will try to explain these type of street foods as best as I can.

1. Kwek Kwek - is basically an egg (duck egg) which is covered in delicious colored flour (Orange).

2.One Day Old Chick - is a deep fried baby chicken (dont be freaked out by how it looks, it's very delicious.)

3. Fish Balls- (No, it is not fish testicles lol) it's fish meat mashed together which forms a little circular dough.

These are my top 3 street foods of all time, they also have varieties of dips: sweet, mild and for me the best one is the spicy vinegar with lots of onions and chili.


Exotic Food:

It has been a goal of mine to eat a bunch of exotic foods, but no opportunities has came up for me to sample them, then it happened. One of our neighbors bought a snake which was 6 kilos and had it cooked adobo style. At first I was hesitant to try it, but im glad I did, although boney, it tastes really really good, like a medium rare burger. Im looking forward to eating more street foods, and like what Andrew Zimmern said "If it looks good, eat it."

Catching Up! and back to blogging...

4 days and counting from when I have landed home...
I still have jet lag, I have only been sleeping for about 4 hours everyday (Oh God when am I going to get that good night's sleep) but still im feeling great and have tons and tons of energy.

The reason: Catching up!
Old friends, Old Stories, Good times..It's been fun talking and recalling what you have the done in the past through the eyes of your friends. Too many good memories from my childhood and High School days, I guess it's true that people don't ever forget their happy thoughts and that it's stuck in your mind and soul forever, hopefully that's the case, so when I grow old I can still sit back and recall these happy thoughts.

So far I have been going out a lot and chilling with the people that are closest to me, and everything is a blast. The occasional beer brings out stories that has been planted on peoples mind and is ripe for the picking when hanging out with your buddies. It brings the thoughts off never really wanting to grow old, and if you could just relinquish and savour every moment that has passed where everyone including you where you and your buddies had the time of your life... ah good times!

D Blog:
I promise to write as much as I can, take lots and lots of pictures and review and rate lots and lots of places and food, so interested readers who are not able to come here and experience this things for themselves will have a taste of what to expect if they ever decide to visit. Fortunately I am one of the lucky ones who has the opportunity to travel and eat a lot and I will openly and honestly share my experiences with you.

D Philippines:
I will try to highlight the beauty of the "Pearl of the Orient". It's pretty weird, but I consider myself to be a tourist in my own country, it has been far too long since I have returned home, and there are a lot of new places to explore, food to taste and friends to meet, enough to paint the picture for you and indulge like you are in the adventure itself =)