Summer of Horrors

Dear Summer,

I am so tired that I am in a state of spiral. Although it looks like I am managing, I am actually in quick sand and I am slowly sinking. Summer is my least favorite part of all the seasons not only because of the horrible horrible heat but also with quite a few factors. To top the list I have summer school and the scheduling really knocks the wind out of you. Everything has become routine and I just go through the motions. The only good thing about school is that you’re indoors and the AC is way up so you’re safe from the horrid summer heat and from the abominable heat stroke.

When I get home, due to brain exhaustion I just drop dead to snooze central .I love sleep but it has become a hindrance for me and Amber. Sometimes the exhaustion just gets to me resulting to nada walks for me and Amber, which I admit ways heavily on my conscience. Before going to school I feel really down when I see Amber’s “please take me with you” puppy face. Our time has been cut short and I guess I am experiencing what every parents feel when they leave their kids in a daycare center or a sitter.

The so-called: Please Take Me With You look.

I miss California and my family too. I had a recent conversation with my brother days ago and all we talked about were the things we used to do and the games we used to play. Seriously I just miss the comfort of home; arguments and agreements with my dad, my mom’s home cooking and the times playing the PS3 and World of Warcraft all day only leaving the room for snacks and bio breaks. Those were indeed the best of times.

Summer has prevented me from going back home to California to see my family and friends. Summer has sprained my walks with Amber. Summer has beaten me dead tired with strenuous school work, but despite that summer has taught me to cope and adapt with reality and the future of the real world. That sacrifices must be made and not everything is a walk in the park. That being separated from comfort and the things that you are used too can make you endure, learn and grow. Although barely breathing, and back with insomnia due to after school snooze’s, I will overcome the horrors of summer no matter what. Till the rainy season commence, summer, I won’t let you fry my brains, touché!

Not your friend,

Conrad

This is College, Deal with it.

Let me start by simply saying that I am a pacifist. I tend to shy away from conflicts and avoid quarrels as much as possible. So, to some of you, I announce my apologies in advance because this entry is an angry one. Angry nonetheless true and I just had about enough, that I felt obliged to say something and stand up not only for myself but also for my dearly beloved friends, so here we go.

If you are reading this, welcome to college,

College is a place of brilliant minds, different influences and backgrounds and of course a mix of different personalities. The key word in College for me is probably “Adaptation”. You need to adapt with your surroundings and peers to survive, with that said, us being in college is “Survival of the Fittest”. It’s a dog eat dog world out there for you; that is the main reason why in college you find the people that are most loyal and most true to you to survive and flourish.

Seriously, would you put a cat and a mouse together in the same room? That would be dumb as hell. That’s why there is such a thing called “freedom of choice” and we are all blessed with it. In college or what not, you are free to choose to whomever you want to stick with. Be it the alcoholics, the girl next door, the nerds, the smokers the rocket scientist, the mathematicians and my personal favorite the rockers. You decide your own fate it is not dealt for you, that’s the beauty of it.

I admit sometimes, I am too quick to judge. I am only human and I also make mistakes like all of you. I find it really interesting that people from day one that seems to be best friends forever end up as enemies in the end. That people whom you share your deepest and darkest secrets ends up as the ones stabbing you in the back. Seriously, can you live with that? How stupid can you be? I pity you if you stick with those people. You only live once, but you can correct your mistakes, so I say to you, choose your friends wisely, and trust me in the end it will all be worth it.

In contrast to what I am saying and in connection with our major which is “nursing”, we need to confine and we are forced to work as a cell or as a unit. This is where conflict arises. Some people can’t deal with the fact that they are in the same group with the people that they hate, people are elected as leaders and most of the time, well almost all of the time members expects the leaders to do everything and vice versa. I admit that I am guilty of this crime, but so are all of us and we all know it.

Immaturity also comes along with college. It is inevitable. I am 24 years old and I have done my share of immature things and I’ve learned from it. Although occasionally I still do a bunch of immature things. In my opinion some people are still too young to handle the pressures of college. Jealousy, envy and the other bad vices comes along with the territory. I actually feel really disappointed with immature posts on facebook and I don’t think it’s funny at all. The negativity that comes out of it disgusts me. But hey, for what it’s worth, you can easily identify the immature ones. The ones that you need to avoid for obvious reasons. That when shit blows up and your alliance and friendship with those sorts of people, go down the toilet, you’re definitely sure that they are the ones who’ll update their status in facebook and stab you in the back. So if you have friends like this you should think things through. I have encountered many of these and I did not react, but when it comes to my true friends and my tipping point, believe me I can raise hell and plenty of it.

I also have been labeled “Kill Joy”. I’m alright with that label. What’s the reasoning? I have found the circle of friends that I belong too. It’s really funny but you can correlate this with love. In love, you don’t have to please everyone around you; the only important thing is that you please the one that you love and that you are both happy. That’s the reason why I have a care free mentality. I know that I don’t have to please everyone; I only need to please the people that I love and trust. The same idea applies to events and gatherings; you don’t have to invite everyone if it’s a private event, that’s why it’s PRIVATE. I wonder why sometimes people react in such harsh ways. Obviously a 12 slice pizza won’t fill 24 bellies, so why invite 24 when you can have the 12 satisfied and full. Sorry but I don’t have the money to buy all of you pizza, and I am not in the business of satisfying and keeping everyone full. It’ doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Like all of us, I am bias, but ONLY of course to my true friends, the ones that respect me as I respect them back. If you grasp the concept it’s actually quite easy to understand.

Still, I apologize to those who are offended by this post, but I thank you for reading it. If you have that angry immature backstabbing look on your face right now, and if you want to post an angry status messages that is intended for me or delete me on your friends list, go on right ahead. In fact I welcome you to do so. I am not scared of you, I have tons and tons of friends whom I know for sure will back me up. With your attitude I doubt that you have the same set of friends who will do the same for you. Everyone lets all grow up.

Re-think things through if you really belong in college,

Your brutally honest college friend,

Conrad.