I'll Find You...

I grow tired…
of waiting, pondering before sleeping.
Long sleepless nights while floating,
wide awake still day-dreaming.

Rain drops dripping,
It is you that I am longing.
Not knowing excites me,
thoughts of you delight me.
False hope invites me,
pretty soon it will come and bite me.

Waiting in vain,
while listening to the rain.
Half-smile masks the pain.
I think I am going Insane.

When the rain stops,
I’ll make my move.
I swear my dear, I’ll look for you.
Although weary and wounded
I won’t stop.
I’ll never give up, not until,
I draw my very last breath
or when my heart ceases to stop.

Together let’s put an end to these
empty nights.
and please don’t hesitate
to turn off the lights.
Let's dive into our blankets,
and enjoy the company of night.
Although we are under the cover of darkness,
I swear I'll never let go and
will forever be by your side.
You are my savior from insomnia.
Because of you, my lady,
finally,I can now sleep tight.

:)

Splendid Sundays! :)

Out of the negativity and the tiredness experienced in the past weeks, then comes a day where everything is splendid and happiness is given.This Sunday, it came in the form of rain, boodle fight, table tennis and of course the company of great friends.

I finally had an awesome sleep. How do you define an awesome sleep? For me, it's more than four hours lol. I woke up feeling rejuvenated though, and without the thought of Monday in my head and the hell that comes with it in the form of homework and there deadlines.

Lunch time came, and things got better. Boodle Fight! For those unfamiliar with this term, it is basically a form of eating, where Banana leaves are laid down as extended plates, then dishes are arranged to accommodate the people eating and lastly you eat with your bare hands. In other words it's like a survivor food frenzy. This kind of eating is basically done outdoors, in rural areas and in military setting. So even with bystanders looking around and questioning what we were doing, we just ate and had no care in the world. I mean why not bring it to the city and just enjoy the feast.

Then came my most favorite thing in the world, Rain. So what did we decide to do? As master of the elements, we decided to have a table tennis tournament despite the heavy rainfall and the relentless wind. I did okay but I only lasted up until the second round because the rain had seized I know longer had my special powers which are only present to me when it is raining LOL.

All is fine again, on the other hand I have chemistry homework due and that bastard Monday is fast approaching. Getting ready for another hell week, but I look forward to seeing you again my sweet sweet Sunday! :)

Boodle Fight: Lots and Lots of Rice, Scrambled Eggs, Pork Chops, Barbecued Chicken and Sardines.

Preparation:


Final product before digging in:

Tiredness...

Put your feelings into literature, a very good advice from a lovely friend...

I am a slave of tiredness, and tiredness has gotten me by the throat. I have been drifting like a zombie and my mind remains afloat. In the emptiness of the night, I wake, from nightmares with cold sweat dripping down my face.

Reality sinks in, I am really back at school. there goes the good days, smiles, getting familiar with pretty faces, new acquaintances and some of them I admit really brightens my day.

Then comes the complicated, unnecessary things needed for school, reliance, teamwork, faults thrown back and forth, alas tiredness claims me.

I wear eye glasses, but my visions are still clouded. Someone help me see the beauty that will come out from all of this. Cause right now I am too tired to give a shit or care, but I try my best to hold it all in together for the sake of sanity and the love of friends.

No offense intended, only honest opinions. Thus writing has helped me relax and find conclusions. With lovely literature I find solace and silence in these endless waves of mutilations.

I am a slave of tiredness for now, but pretty soon I will be free. This week has been hell and there is too much load that I alone cannot carry.

I am thankful that I have friends who are there too help me, catches me when I fall and are true and wont desert me. The value of living is not by the money you make,the car you drive or the loft that you live in. Instead it's the friends that hold you, the ones who are always there for you, in the harshest of times, through the thickest of thin.

I bow down before you, and even with tired and trembling hands, I salute you.

Hidden

My love for you is hidden,
as long as your smile remains exposed.
When will I see you again?
On the weekdays I suppose.

I long to be close to you,
I have thoughts of having you near.
Thus, I decided to remain hidden,
I’ll just wait until the rain clouds clear
and pretty soon, like rain drops,
my true feelings will appear.

Hopefully this feeling won’t fade and
I won’t allow it to just simply disappear.
Memories are enough for now
and I can’t wait for sleep.
Cause in my dreams, for sure
I’ll get to see you again my dear.

Hidden I will be.
Invisible, under the cover of company,
Unexposed, just like the Holy Ghost,
praying silently,waiting patiently.

Soon enough my cover will be blown
and only time will reveal,
that my love and desire for you is
more than just a big deal.

Not an absurd joke,
and absolutely not just for thrills,
It’s actually wonderful, beautiful
and definitely real.
That’s the reason im drawn to you,
You are not whimsical,
You are true and real.

Sleep II

The thought of you beside me,
The thought of having you near,
The thought of us talking about love and poetry,
instead of me sitting alone drinking this beer.

Lying wide awake on this empty bed.
Ipod on repeat , not shuffle playing;
“High and Dry” by the band Radiohead.
Counting sheep just leaves me weak,
I wish you somehow knew that I miss you
and that you are still the one that I seek.

So, this bed ridden insomniac has risen.
and for you is this poem that I’ve written.

There are no stars that are twinkling,
and my eyes are tired and blinking.
There is no sign of the moon.
I wonder where had she gone and
why did she have to leave so soon.

Pillowed dark rain clouds paired
with a melancholy sky, just adds
to my gloomy mood and it even
feels like I’ve pulled a tooth.

I feel dead tired and I could use some slumber.
Those sleepless nights really did their number.
Insomnia how I wish that you were my lady
and that you will be the one to tuck me into bed.

So tonight, I’ll just ride it out, till
the lovely sleep calls me to her bed.
For now I’ll just stare at the heavens
and pretend that there’s a full moon
watching over me wishing me to finally
rest my head, have the sweetest dreams
and have that lovely sleep that I so long for instead.

In the After

In the after, there is no guarantee that there would be no pain and only laughter.
Children laughing and trees swaying that’s the life that we are all after.

I look at the world today with doubt and sorrow, an upcoming disaster.
War and greed, is this what the people really need?

Pain and suffering goes hand in hand. So why are you letting go of my hand?
Is this how the future will surely stand?
Second hand smoke killers and castle made out of sands.

I am a king without a crown and all I have is this frown.
The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting absurdly poorer.

What must we do to encourage? When we know for a fact that these
So called hypocrites are corrupted and have no courage?

Will a child always have a shelter and a playground that he or she seeks?
Or is the corrupt going to triumph again and leave us all meek?

For once let us rise and make a stand, before the flood and war bury us all in sand.
Plant a tree, read a book, teach a child which way to look.
Only forward and learn from the sins of the past.
Take care of Mother Nature and don’t let her pass.
Let education be the foundation and the building blocks.
So that in the after we all have something to look forward too,
instead of a pile of rubble and a bunch of rocks.

(Dedicated to Tina, my big sister. Who I adore now, and even in the after)
I share your vision. :)

Drunk Driving

Drinking and driving tonight.
Why am I in such a hurry?
Alcohol mixed with pain is
making my vision double and blurry.

Heart is pounding, im going crazy.
Chest is heavy, brain ain’t steady.

Speed limit says 40,
but im breaking 80.
Seatbelt unbuckled, although it
feels like my hands are shackled.

Racing to you, hoping
that you’ll take me,
back to where we once was.
Driving calm and steady,
with you beside me.

Admiring the rays of the sun,
as it touches and caresses your face.
Way back to those days when you
were always feisty and ready, to
pounce at me with your hugs and your kisses.

I remember your sunny smile
as the summer breeze gracefully
sways your long dark hair. Even
though my head is ringing right
now to what sounds like a thousand bells.

Clearly not sober, but I do remember,
the look, that you gave me saying:
“I will always be here on your passenger seat my baby”

Next thing I knew, heard
an awful bang and a crash.
Glasses were flying,
metals are bending,
it just all happened too fast.

Head is busted, feels like I’m still wasted.
Eyes are swollen and ribs are broken.
Now lying in this hospital bed, with
blood shot eyes and a bandaged head.

Know someday I’ll heal, but I wish I was dead.
That thought is pretty grim, however the reality
of not being with you is guaranteed death.
Rather me as a ghost and watch over you instead,
than be alone forever, without you in my bed.

(A Series of Unfortunate Events...)