You were there.

Last Night,
I actually pretended that you were there.
Sitting and smiling across from me from that empty chair.
I made your favorite dinner, even lined up the spoons the forks and plates.
Candle light lit and fresh roses, while holding a smile that’s absurdly fake.

I actually miss your stare and
how you run your fingers slowly through your hair.
I got hungry but I didn’t crave for food.
Instead I wanted to taste your skin,
your soft lips and the feeling of lust
just from the slightest touch of your finger tips.

Then I leaned over waiting for a kiss,
waiting for your lips to touch mine,
standing by for sparks to fly.

Sadly all I get is a kiss back from the wind
and the feeling of nothingness.
I felt numb and at the same time sick
I wanted to throw up, I wanted to drown.

Surrounded by silence, like raindrops I can hear
the tears dripping as they touch my plate.
I didn’t eat dinner,
I didn’t touch my food,
I didn’t feel hungry anymore,
because my heart and soul wont cooperate.

I stood up silently and wiped my tears.
took a few steps forward and reached for the sink.
Turned the faucet slowly and waited a few seconds
As I feel the warm become cold.

Next thing I knew, I felt pain.
The coldness of the water and how it burned my skin
Not used to the feeling na wala kana at hindi kana sakin.

(Dedicated to the peeps who have been through hell and are trying to make their way back, just a few more steps and your already there)